What is the next step? Isn’t it that of sitting for your A levels and moving on to University?! This is such an automatic process and this is how I had always pictured myself and my life. This is what I planned to do when I turned seventeen and admittedly I had many pressures to do so. Certainly, my chosen subjects which were Accounts and Mathematics were very dear to me and I would have loved to pursue this career.
When I was younger I used to go to M.U.S.E.U.M. and that is where I learnt a lot about our faith. I was also very happy there. There were also a group of friends with whom I used to get along very well whilst at Sixth form. Yet there was still something compelling me to ask whether Our Lord would have wanted me to help him in priesthood. This was not just another simple question but a great challenge. It was then that I sought help. I used to speak in an open manner with a particular priest because I was feeling that I had reached cross roads and all the roads seemed attractive and beautiful.
I felt I had to choose and choosing meant that I would not remain standing at the crossroads.
Naturally, when you choose to start walking this road, you do feel the loss of the others around you, but if this is really your decision for your own life, you do also experience a sense of internal peace. I decided to work in a company related to my studies for six months and it was after this period that I started my formation process within the Seminary. As soon as I started at the Seminary I immediately felt the loss of those other pathways and opportunities that I had positively left behind, but at the same time I found an inner sense of peace as I gradually discovered that God’s will for me and my own will were finally converging. When I started off at the Seminary, I had no foolproof certainty that I would be ordained a priest one day. I had to really delve deeper and search to find out whether Osmar really had this calling. There were some who told me “Do be careful because you are going to miss out on your youth”, but I still felt grateful that I could still live the beautiful moments of my youth in a relationship with God.
Osmar Baldacchino – b.osmar1994@gmail.com
X’inhu l-pass li jmiss? Mhux li ġġib l-A Levels u tibda kors l-università? Dan huwa proċess awtomatiku u hekk kont nara lili nnifsi li se nagħmel meta kelli sbatax-il sena; anzi kelli diversi pressjonijiet biex nagħmel hekk. Nistqarr li s-suġġetti li kelli, l-Accounts u l-Matematika kienu għal qalbi u kont nixtieq li nkompli nistudja għall-karriera.
Kont immur il-M.U.S.E.U.M. u hemm mhux biss kont nirċievi diversi tagħlim siewi imma kont ukoll għal qalbi. Fis-sixth form kien hemm grupp ta’ ħbieb u kont immur tajjeb magħhom ukoll. Biss, kien hemm xi ħaġa tberren fil-qalb tiegħi… tgħid il-Mulej iridni nservih fis-saċerdozju? Ma kinitx kwalunkwe mistoqsija imma kienet mistoqsija li tisfidani ħafna u għalhekk iddeċidejt li nfittex l-għajnuna. Kont nitkellem b’mod liberu u apert ma’ saċerdot għaliex kont inħossni li wasalt f’salib it-toroq u kull triq kienet tidher sabiħa.
Ħassejt li kelli nagħżel u li nibqa’ f’salib it-toroq ma kinitx għażla minnhom. Sintendi meta tagħżel li tibda triq, tħoss it-telfa tal-oħrajn, imma jekk veru dik tkun id-deċiżjoni ta’ ħajtek, tesperjenza wkoll il-paċi. Iddeċidejt li nagħmel sitt xhur naħdem f’kumpanija, fil-linja ta’ dak li kont nistudja għalih, u wara dan il-perjodu ddeċidejt li nibda l-proċess ta’ formazzjoni fis-Seminarju. Malli bdejt is-Seminarju, ħassejt it-telfa ta’ dawk it-toroq u l-opportunitajiet li ħallejt warajja imma fl-istess waqt sibt il-paċi għax bil-mod il-mod bdejt niskopri li r-rieda ta’ Alla u r-rieda tiegħi qed jiltaqgħu flimkien. Meta bdejt is-Seminarju ma kelli ebda ċertezza li kont ser insir saċerdot; ridt infittex aktar fil-profond jekk Osmar għandux din is-sejħa. Kien hemm min qalli: “attent għax ser titlef iż-żgħożija tiegħek!” Imma jiena nħossni grat ħafna li dan kollu nista’ ngħixu f’relazzjoni ma’ Alla fil-mument sabiħ taż-żgħożija tiegħi.